Working from home, working remotely, hybrid working, solopreneurs, mumpreneurs, small 1 person business owners....
The back bone of economics in most developed countries need support from inside and outside to continue
There is a loneliness factor that is spreading the world one home worker at a time...
Whilst the governments are still recovering from the COVID pandemic years 2020 - 2022, are businesses recouping their losses at the cost of creativity and motivation of their staff?
It came at us fast and furious, one day we were on holiday, at work at school, doing our normal... the next, we were not able to leave our homes... it put us all through unprecedented moments of fear, lockdown and loneliness, and then ...
left us to just deal with the fallout.
Now what, Disconnection, Isolation, Loneliness, Procrastination, loss of Confidence, De-motivation
The new world of remote working?
Even if a small business owner has always worked on their own, the world is different now, has this affected the small business owner too?
We are all social beings living in a social world and emotions that stem from feeling disconnected from others, can induce procrastination, demotivation, sleep issues, confidence reduction, anxiety, overwhelm and even depression as it is our body’s natural way of signalling a need to connect.
Many who experience feelings of loneliness, will still feel lonely even when surrounded by others on a regular basis.
The remote worker or the small business owner, who works from a café table, regularly so as to feel like there is a daily human connection, may still feel lonely .
The couple who both work from home and see each other throughout the day may still feel lonely.
A remote worker, a digital nomad living in the Caribbean or on a French island (living the DREAM!) in a foreign country and only conversing in their native language online can feel lonely.
Loneliness does not only come from being alone.... it comes from feeling disconnected, un heard, out of place, in unfamiliar surroundings, these are some of the residues left from 2020 and 2021.
The missing link now can be the human touch, a hand shake, a fist bump, a touch of well done on the shoulder. The French Bonjour with a kiss on both cheeks cannot be done remotely... These tactile expressions of comradery and team ship missing from the day to day can lead to feelings of isolation and anxiety.
Still in so many mindsets and places it is seen as a risk to touch.
The fear is still there so what can we do?
For many, these feelings may stick around longer than one would hope.
Loneliness is a subjective feeling, often described as not feeling in tune with others or feeling misunderstood by people around you. You can feel lonely in a crowd, lonely in your environment, lonely in a marriage, or unheard by others around you.
Even when there is Love, there can still be loneliness
Covid aside, as this was relevant before 2019 /20 also and loneliness affects so many people who came through COVID with a sense of strength.......
Its not just about the pandemic years, this is society driven and often a work place driven symptom of an ideal of individuality, strive for more, multitasking, high productivity, higher profits and an ideal of more and more just going a little bit wrong for many.
We work longer hours, harder hours looking for bigger results, higher margins, greater competition, the slide to success and worthiness, can be slippery and often at the expense of relationships, time out and connection.
The move to remote working may give freedom to many but take connection away at the same time.
Its like two opposing values
FREEDOM and CONNECTION
They will not work together unless we have a link of working practises that keep a flow of humanity and
in-person moments, on a regular basis
Loneliness does not discriminate – it can affect anyone, regardless of their gender, age, socioeconomic status, culture, professional level or number of people living in your space.
Loneliness is now identified as a major social, community, economic, and public health issue in Australia, USA, the UK, Europe, NZ, Japan, Singapore, China and so many more locations and negatively affects the health and wellbeing of multi millions across the globe.
With the natural rise of the shift towards remote working over the past decade, before, during and after the COVID pandemic times.
This phenomenon is affecting both small business owners working solely and salaried workers working remotely or onsite, it's often not about being alone, but about being unheard, not feeling a belonging.
As businesses adopted more flexible work arrangements, (often put in place to start to support working parents, those with flexible time requirements and those with physical ability limitations) the work life balance resulted in the idea of remote and blended work practices being set up and continuing way past after the mask stop being mandatory.
Workplace loneliness arises from perceived deficiencies in a person’s social relationships in the workplace.
Research indicates that loneliness negatively impacts on both employees and employers.
Loneliness in the workplace is associated with lower job satisfaction and performance, reduced commitment, loyalty and creativity.
Resulting in dissatisfied workers, business owners and customers.
Two-thirds of respondents in a study from The Journal of Occupational Environmental Medicine (USA) reported new physical health symptoms since beginning to work from home, and three-quarters (74 percent) reported new mental health issues. The majority of these individuals (55 percent) didn’t just get one mental health issue; they got two – namely, depression and anxiety.
Employees who are feeling lonelier, showing symptoms of loneliness are deemed to make more mistakes, , have more sick days, unexplained absences, less tolerance for change and often show a stronger desire to leave their jobs altogether and on the flip side return to work if they had left their previous one.
“Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health. Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled, and more productive lives,” said U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy. “Given the significant health consequences of loneliness and isolation, we must prioritise building social connection the same way we have prioritized other critical public health issues such as tobacco, obesity, and substance use disorders. Together, we can build a country that’s healthier, more resilient, less lonely, and more connected.”
This is a message other countries such as the UK, Japan and Australia are noticing also.
Tracey Crouch MP, Ministerial lead on loneliness and Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Sport and Civil Society (UK). "The relationships we have with our friends, family, neighbours and colleagues are, for many of us, the most important things in our lives and it is increasingly obvious that this need is not being meet enough".
Social isolation affects one in six Australians ( 1 in ten Pre Covid), while one in four experience periods of emotional loneliness. The ministry of loneliness in Australia was started in 2018 by the Labour Party
Pre Covid, it was already beginning to be noticed and since the pandemic loneliness numbers and statistics have risen exponentially.
What are Business owners, C.E.O's and those with their hands on the recourses, doing to support the reduction in loneliness amongst themselves, their staff, remote and hybrid workers.
Who and what recourses are available to small business owners, often working on their own to develop and run their businesses.
Who is expected to bring these resources and tools to light?
Governments?
Businesses?
Managers?
Medical Professionals?
and/or
The staff/ business owners themselves?
Is it up to YOU, US or THEM? Can we all play a part in this?
As the off shoots and sidebars of The Loneliness Epidemic are becoming clearer.
Loneliness has been reported as a risk, as a player in the increase of the risk of heart disease, of Dementia, of diabetes, as well as mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.
It can weaken the immune system and even cause premature mortality.
Liuba Belkin, Professor (Associate) |of Lehigh University, Bethlehem and director of management at Lehigh University of Business, says "that the loneliness epidemic has spared almost no one. Even people with families and significant others and friends feel a certain longing for better workplace interactions,”
The problem is that while remote workers are constantly connected, they’re lacking in “high-quality connections.”
University of Michigan’s - Centre for positive organisations - Jane Dutton introduced the term to describe interactions defined by mutual positive regard, trust, and active engagement.
When people are in a high-quality interaction, Dutton writes they feel more “open, competent, and alive.”
As someone who has worked as a solopreneur for near 10 years, I know only too well the struggle with loneliness in the workplace.
I have been a single operator business owner since early 2010, although when I started I still had a young daughter at home, with another at university and I am in a long term very committed relationship, the loneliness has been palpable so often that it's actually difficult to remember a time when it wasn't present..
Is it about managing an ever present colleague?
In 2012 spoke to my Doctors about my low moods and teary days, stressed moments and general feeling of isolation and at times despair
................................"MEDICATION WAS PRESCRIBED".................................
Whilst Medication and Doctors orders, may suit many of you and certainly have their rightful place in society.
I personally am not a huge fan of taking medications for anything, not even a headache, this is not my usual 1st recourse, so at that moment this course of action was not right for me.
...... this was the moment that I decided it is - MY RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that I am accountable for my loneliness factor.
As a small business owner, by choice, I choose to work this way, so I will take accountability for my mental health whilst I do.
It was when researching for others advice and ideas, found a book called
"Mind mapping by Tony Buzan"
Although not a book on mental health, loneliness or even solopreneur working practises, it is a book that helped me to throw my ideas, goals and plans all out onto paper, as a visual, kinaesthetic learner and expressor, I found this a great tool.
Right for me at that time
SO I SAT DOWN AND MIND MAPED..... I full engaged with this idea and since then have mind mapped every time a decision needs to be made that isn't coming easily.
So......
What are some of the things I have tried to help alleviate the loneliness I was feeling.
Many things that have suited me and my personality, things that others thought where a bit odd, to down right weird ..... 😂 and a few that fall into, The " ok that's a normal things to do" category ......
1. The first time I felt the loneliness creep in I went out and got myself a full time job and did that alongside running my business. I sustained that until exhaustion set in and one had to go.
Although I loved the job it wasn't my passion, so the job went and I went back to being a solopreneur full time.
This time though I was working alone and exhausted.....
(please unless you are super healthy, with the energy of a toddler after a mid-day nap, do not take this option lightly! 🙄)
2. The next thing I did was decide, if I took some work hours out of my week and lost some of my income would this be ok?.......
Once I worked out what I could afford to lose and what I could cut down on spending on, I began to volunteer at my daughters school and helped to build a veg garden for the students.
While it lasted a few months, I loved it, it got me outdoors (tick), It got me gardening, which I love (tick), I was working alongside adults who had similar interests (tick), and I got to spend time with the fabulous students including my daughter (tick).
When the project ended and I was back to being a solopreneur, after a while in crept the lonely feelings and procrastination again..
I've always thought that I was a "self starting strong person" but this kept catching up with me unawares at times, till I would have an outburst for very little reason.
3. I became a foster carer - the idea had been there for a long while and it was a wonderful way to give back, support kids who needed stability for a while (we were interim and emergency foster carers) we did this for almost 2 years, I got to become a members of a new primary school where I volunteered to sit with our foster son during his tough times integrating and ended up supporting other students to read.
Until once again exhaustion kicked in during a time between having a child with us.
So we decided it was best for all if we didn't take on another for a while (never went back to it...)
Fostering although an incredible worthwhile and a needed service, my word of insight here is...
It takes a very certain type of person, who can, with hand on heart, say they can give a high % of their energy to the care and support of these children and deal with a system that you will not agree with 100% of the time. Then be committed to being fully present with self care measures.
This at that time was not me afterall, no matter how high my intentions were set.
I was beginning to realise that jumping into large distractions and social activities to ward off the loneliness was not really working for me.
4. I learnt to meditate by going to a local centre once a week for free meditation classes, I met local like minded stress heads, also looking for connection.
5. I got myself an allotment and became the president of our allotment society after only 12 months being there. I would go straight from my working hours to the allotment, it was my saviour. People, plants, outdoors, present moment activities and conversations...
I tell you, the antics of an Allotment society, are almost enough to make one run back to the isolation of their remote working desk... but the getting soil beneath my fingernails and chatting to others about radishes and potatoes was fun.
I learnt a lot about myself, my society and dealing with folk I would otherwise never have come into contact with. I loved it and I now have a veg garden at home because we moved from the area and I lost the allotment when we moved, I'm still gardening but once again as a solo...
6. I started to take a scheduled, entered in my diary, coffee break, every week with a friend who also is a solopreneur.
7. I joined a small coaching group of 2 life coaches and 6 clients, who met every fortnight to focus on ourselves for 2 hours each session. I met some lovely woman who all felt like I did at times and it was great to know I wasn't alone in this
8. When in a town or city that is not my own, working out of a services shared office space like @WE WORK and I will get the chance to chat with other remote and nomad workers, sharing our stories, networking and getting the human interaction we all crave sometimes even from a stranger, if with similar interest can be powerful
Note: for any of you who find yourself in Melbourne, Australia a little locals secret ...... there is a free space that you can set up and sit working, at.
It's in a shopping centre above one of the train stations, it was originally put there for the non shopping partners, to chill whilst their loved ones are shopping. However it's a great space to sit, log on and do some quiet work. I often found myself chatting to someone who was not interested in shopping but their loved one is, so they chill there for a while.
It's not the same as coffee with a friend, but it's interaction, it's story sharing and it's FREE! I always buy a coffee from one of the cafes in the centre and have never been moved on......... if your near Spencer Street go check it out you never know what conversation you might have if you just step away from your home desk once in a while.
Now these things I discovered as I went along, either suited me or didn't suit me, the trick was sticking with what did and moving towards something else when I realised I was on the wrong track. In the desire to not feel isolated and lonely I may have taken a few wrong turns in my haste, however what I did do and you can do, is learn about yourself as you go. Being aware of your trigger moments, noticing when your midset is changing to the procrastination stage or the wandering mind away from work moments. Remember there is no shame in changing direction, in admitting that what you started is not right for you and diverting to something else that brings you closer to connection and subsequently joy.
Remembering that you are as individual as the things you like to do, as different to me, as your business will be to mine and you are a very special blend of feelings and emotions. Therefore be sure to take in the thread of ideas here and mix them into what you need to do to support your plan, to be a motivated, productive, creative remote or hybrid worker.
My biggest bit of insight I can share here is keep vigilant and stay awake to your feelings and emotions. Notice any small changes in mood, before they become big changes and it's is never to small an issue to ask for help, if you are feeling isolated, reach out.
I would love to hear what Ideas you come up with to support your remote working life, in the mean time after another house move to a foreign country where English is not the 1st language I'm taking a break from work and off to host a French coffee and chat group in my garden
Written by Cherie-lee Harlow
The Tangible Coach - Cherie has worked with small business owners looking for wellness and balance in their business and personal lives for over 10 years. Her expertise is in being the motivational link between work and life, self and business supporting her clients to love what they do and have the energy to do it.
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